- What does sexuality mean?
Sexuality is an integral part of the human experience. Although people experience, conceptualize, feel, and express sexuality differently, because sexuality is a large and varied phenomenon, sexual and gender identity and sexual experiences affect us all. Pleasure, self-image, body, curiosity, relationships, discovery, procreation, hormones, boundaries, feelings, senses, thoughts - these and other similar keywords are what people say when asked what they associate with sexuality. Sexuality includes physical, emotional, mental, cultural, and social (and other) aspects. As many as there are people, there are also different keywords and associations, and this is completely natural and nice because diversity is one of the universal keywords that denote sexuality.
The pace and journey of sexual development are also different for every person, and there is no single unified pattern of how development should take place or which stops a person should go through on their journey. Some people fall in love, and some don't; some want sexual experiences with other people, some only with themselves, and some not at all; some people want children, some don't. All people are different; all people are wonderful. It is important that the journey of sexuality is safe and free from coercion and violence.
Talking about sexuality in adolescence
It's good to get answers to your questions about human sexuality. Finding answers to your questions helps children and young people grow into healthy and mature sexual personalities. However, talking about sex and sexuality can sometimes be difficult. Here are some hints that can help get the conversation started.
Who to talk to? It is best to talk to someone you trust and with whom you feel comfortable. Such a person can be, for example, a friend or an intimate relationship partner - but it must be someone who knows how to keep confidential topics secret if necessary. Mother, father, or a distant acquaintance or relative can also be people to turn to with your questions and concerns. Parents can be surprisingly open when talking about sexuality. Even if they can't answer some of the questions, it's quite likely that they at least know where to look for answers.
Sometimes it is safer to talk to a complete stranger who is used to listening to young people's concerns and helping them, such as a youth counselor, doctor, school nurse, or teacher. If, for example, you want to check yourself for a sexually transmitted infection or get contraceptive advice, a youth counselor is exactly the right person to discuss your concerns with.
Where and when to talk? For talking, you need to choose a time and place where you can be undisturbed. It is a good idea to tell the conversation partner that you want to talk about something important and to reserve enough time for it. It is important to catch the right moment - when the conversation partner has time and is not in a hurry for another meeting, etc.
When going to see a youth counselor or doctor, it would be advisable to make an appointment in advance. Many youth counseling centers also have so-called drop-in appointments, where you do not need to register in advance and which are meant for approaching with an urgent question or concern.
What to say? If you feel fear or shame, perhaps it is best to start by, for example, telling the listener that you feel uncomfortable. It also prepares the listener for what follows. Then you need to tell your story as simply as possible or ask your questions without getting bogged down in too many details and without digressing from the main point. If you are just honest and talk about the main thing, it also helps your conversation partner to listen and help the best.
- What are the sexual rights of young people?
Young people, like adults, have sexual rights that are part of human rights.
One of the reasons why young people's sexual rights are sometimes not recognized is the misconception that young people are not or should not be sexual, except for the young people who are married. Secondly, one of the most fundamental challenges in recognizing the sexual rights of young people is how to find a balance: on the one hand, young people have the right to be protected from harmful and development-disrupting experiences, and on the other hand, they have the right to participate and gradually take responsibility for the realization of their sexual rights.
Sometimes there is opposition to the sexual rights of young people, because it is believed that young people are not capable of deciding for themselves about their sexuality and that these matters should be decided by parents. However, each young person develops at their own pace and it is difficult to identify a universal age when all young people should receive certain rights (e.g., confidentiality when using health services) or when certain protective provisions lose their importance. Therefore, several authoritative international organizations recognize the approach according to which the balance between young people's protection and self-determination depends in each individual case on the young person's developing capacity to make decisions about their own sexuality.
According to the International Planned Parenthood Federation (2011), the sexual rights of young people are:
- The right to equality. All young people have equal rights, including sexual rights. No one may be treated in a discriminatory manner based on a person's sexuality, gender, sexual identity (including sexual orientation), age, religion, nationality, citizenship, HIV status, disability or any other condition.
- Right to participation. Young people have the right to actively and freely participate in decision-making that affects their lives and affects social changes.
- Right to life and to be free of harm. All young people have the right to life and liberty, and the right to be free from harmful activities. This includes the right of young people to express their sexuality free from coercion and violence. No one may be harassed, harmed,
punished, or killed based on their sexual behavior, gender identity, or expression of sexuality in any other way, nor may anyone be harmed for the purpose of protecting family honor. In particular, young single women, HIV-positive, gay and bisexual, intersex and transgender youth must be protected from harm and punishment.
Children and young people must be protected from all forms of exploitation and harm, especially sexual exploitation, child prostitution, child trafficking, forced sexual acts and involvement in child pornography. Harmful traditions such as female genital mutilation, forced parentage and forced marriage must be addressed from the perspective of protecting young people's sexual rights.
- Right to privacy. All young people have the right to privacy and the right to make autonomous decisions about their sexuality in private. Young people have the right to decide whether, when, how and with whom to share information about their sexuality-related choices. It provides privacy and confidentiality in sexual and reproductive health services. It provides privacy and confidentiality for information about a young person's sexual behavior, sexual orientation, HIV status, use of contraceptives, sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy or abortion.
- The right to personal autonomy and to be recognized as an individual before the law. All young people have the right to make free decisions about their sexuality and to experience their sexuality and gender in an enjoyable way. Sexual rights can be restricted in the laws of democratic countries only if it is necessary to ensure the general welfare or health of society or if it is necessary to protect people's rights or freedom. Any restriction on young people's sexual rights must be non-discriminatory, including age restrictions.
- The right to think and express oneself freely. All young people have the right to express their thoughts, views, needs and desires related to their sexuality, regardless of restrictions related to dominant cultural practices or political ideologies. All young people have the right to discover their sexuality and should be able to dream and fantasize, to freely express their sexuality without fear, shame or guilt, while recognizing the sexual rights of other people.
- The right to health. All young people have the right to the best physical and mental health, including sexual and reproductive health. Young people have the right to be protected from the social, environmental and economic factors associated with declining health.
- The right to know and learn. All young people have the right to education and information, including broad-based, gender-sensitive and sexual rights-recognizing sex education.
- The right to choose whether or not to marry or have children. All young people have the right to decide whether, how and whom to marry and have children with, in an environment that recognizes different family types.
- The right to have your rights upheld. Governments must respect, protect and fulfill all sexual rights of young people. Respect means that the government does not regulate how and when young people should receive support for their rights. Protection means that the government takes measures to fulfill the human rights of young people. To comply means that the government must create laws and programs to help young people understand their sexuality.
International Planned Parenthood Federation. Exclaim! Young People's Guide to 'Sexual Rights: An IPPF declaration. IPPF, 2011.
Read more: www.seksuaaltervis.ee
- What is Sexting?
"Sexting (in Estonian, Sekstimine) - sending, receiving, or transmitting sexually suggestive messages, pictures, or photos, typically via mobile phones.
Such behavior can occur between two young people or adults. Young people themselves refer to this activity as sending nude pictures, sexting, or creating intimate selfies. Some take intimate pictures or videos alone or with a partner. Some young people do not create content themselves but save someone else's sexually suggestive pictures or videos (through screenshots or content saving) and share them with others.
The reasons for sexting may include the need to boost self-esteem, seek attention, and interact with new people on social media. Peer pressure can also influence young people to take revealing pictures and send them. It can be difficult for a young person to say 'no' to someone seeking their attention. However, for some, this behavior may become almost normal, seeming cool or gaining popularity.
Potential consequences of sexting:
- Widespread sharing and dissemination – although a young person may have shared a picture or video voluntarily, the recipient may decide to further distribute it online, reaching many more people than the young person initially assumed. Content may also spread through hacking an account.
- Harm to relationships – if a young person has shared a picture with a partner or someone else they trust, and that person has shared it with others, it damages the relationship and causes severe emotional distress to the young person – someone they trusted betrayed them.
- Emotional and psychological damage – knowing that an intimate picture has been shared with strangers, seen by many people, causes significant distress to the young person.
- Damage to reputation – comments from others (both online and in real life) can lead to gossip, rumors, and accusations.
- Risk of exploitation – sexually explicit content shared through digital devices may be used for extortion – if the blackmailer's demands are not met, they may send it to family members or friends. Sometimes, pictures or videos are made without the young person's knowledge, and then used to manipulate them.
What can be done preventively:
– Review your friend list. Make sure that only people you actually know are on your list. Don't trust everything the person who sent a friend request says about themselves.
– Do not send naked pictures of yourself. There is always a chance that you may later fall out with the person, and they may start spreading your pictures in revenge.
– If you receive someone else's explicit material (picture, video, etc.), never share them under any circumstances, as it is a criminal offense! Inform the person whose material is being shared by contacting the online constable.
– If you receive unwanted sexting that makes you uncomfortable, ask the person not to send them to you anymore. If the activity continues, be sure to contact the online constable.
What can you do if you have already sent a picture of yourself to someone:
– Ask the recipient to permanently delete the picture.
– Check if they have shared it with someone else. If not, ask them not to do so, informing them that spreading the picture is a criminal offense.
– If necessary, block that person and seek support from a trusted adult.
– It is useful to take screenshots of offensive or threatening messages that can be used later to seek help.
– Collect as many details about the situation as possible and act quickly to minimize harm.
– If your requests and wishes are not respected, or if threats persist, immediately contact the online police!
Help and support can be obtained from:
Web police officers 👮: https://www.politsei.ee/et/veebipolitseinikud
Read more: noor.targaltinternetis.ee"